I have always been surrounded by friends and relatives. It is only recently that I have been spending my evenings alone. And my biggest fear when I was preparing for my break-up was that I will have nothing to look forward to in the evenings. Well, that has changed now. It was a matter of time and yes it has altered my perspective. I have done so many things since then. It has been amazing. Every single evening I plan what I am going to do and make sure that I keep myself busy. I don’t waste a moment when I am awake and I am glad to do so. I read a lot more and I write. Since I am in Washington currently I go exploring the city most evenings. I walk around buildings, sit at a cafe, smile to myself. I have been in that place where you start believing that if you do not have anybody to spend the evening with, then you are probably boring, not worth it and don’t deserve company. But I have realized now that it is for me to choose when I want to meet someone. And for now, I am really enjoying my own company J so here are some things I have done and some things I want to do. So when you are single…
Travel. Travel and Travel.
Lift weights. Go to the gym. Go for a jog alone. Take a walk alone.
Try something new like an activity you didn’t already know. Riding a bicycle, taking a driving class. My latest is practicing driving on the left hand wheel with a colleague. I went trekking to the Great Falls, Virginia and it was so awesome to go through the rocks.
Do your bank work yourself. Take care of your finances and try working out your savings.
Live alone or at least move apartments or cities without the help of family. Carry your own stuff and settle in again.
Join a laughing club or an activity where people are involved.
Go to a doctor’s appointment by yourself.
Make your own decisions about your job. Keep it if you want to. Quit if you want to. Just take your own decision.
I was nervous on my first solo trip to America, even though I almost always had to take the lead when I was traveling with him. It was great to achieve getting on to the correct plane 😀 and through immigration!
Learn to stand up for yourself. (If you’re not naturally assertive, move to bigger cities. It did wonders for me.)
Make once-in-a-lifetime plans. Like I want to go for one FIFA world cup in my life. And travel to Greece and buy myself a beetle. And have a house full of 8 dogs of all sizes.
Watch TV. Reality TV. Trust me watching other people’s relationship drama makes you feel better J Watch one movie that always made you cry. I watched P.S I love you so many times. Ultimately, I didn’t cry the last time I saw it. It made me feel in control of my emotions.
Get drunk and have a hangover weekend with close friends. Be sure you are with close friends. You do not want beer goggles and waking up next to someone who was an ex husbands current girlfriends ex boyfriends brother 😛
Go on a date with someone who actually makes you nervous. Actually go on a date with as many people. Go with an older man who will make you feel like a million bucks. Go with a young guy who will make you laugh till you can’t take it anymore. Go with a serious person from your work network and have intellectual conversations over wine.
Become a giver. It is not always about you. Call friends you haven’t bothered to in ages. Help people. Talk to plants and animals. I had a long conversation last evening with Martha, Fred and Arthur (my flat mates cats) and Daisy (her beagle) about life. Trust me they understood everything. Usually when I speak on the phone to K in Bangalore or over chat I always remind him to say hi to the plants for me.
Chill with your widowed single neighbor. She knows “what it is like to be alone”!
Volunteer. With any charity you like. For any cause that matters to you.
Attend a wedding while you are single. And spend one valentine alone. It will make you appreciate what you have when you do have a partner again 🙂
Wear perfume everyday and pamper yourself. Buy yourself the things you have always wanted from the beauty counter at the mall.
Don’t wait for your friends to buy you flowers or gifts.
Invest in some sexy stilettos and some awesome lingerie 😉
Sit by yourself in a café; eat a salad, read a book.
Buy something frivolous and expensive that you LOVE wearing.
Take a class. Make the most of all your free time. You are lucky to have it. So learn a new language, take a cooking class, and attend college if you want to. Get a new degree. I am learning this new software for work and I have enrolled myself for the master’s programme in environmental law and conservation at the national law school.
Make a list of all your drawbacks. Not necessarily. Just try. I have been working on my short temper. I like it that I am calmer and I don’t lose it anymore.
Learn to cook well. Trust me it will always make you happy. If you like baking, try your hand at that too.
Get some hobbies.
Host parties. Host girl night out parties, and always remember if you have awesome friends with cool moms, just include them too.
Always remember your marriage or last relationship has given you the experience to choose better 😀 work at this.
Help a friend through her divorce or a bad break-up. They will always be grateful for having you around. I had a heart to heart conversation with my friend last night who is having a tough time accepting the end of a relationship. I was glad when at the end of it she told me, she felt better after all the talking.
And most importantly, Be HAPPY!