Is there a reason why we meet the people we do? I have always asked myself this question. Is it just a mere coincidence that I decided to change my life forever by accepting this opportunity to travel to the other side of the world. Was it something my destiny had already decided for me? I have always wondered over these years. I have asked my friends and family if they believed in destiny. Some say it is nothing but our own decisions that are taken given a particular situation in mind. Some say, well yes, we take those decisions because we are meant to be at a particular place at a particular point of time. The explanations are varied.
The reason I write this post today is because I have in the recent past gone through a variety of emotions and met a variety of people who have shown the same emotions. I guess human beings are the same all over the world. Pain, sorrow, joy, love, there are emotions that will always exist as long as we have people in relationships and people seeking relationships.
I have met so many people through my travels in the last few months. I have come to realise we are all somewhere looking for the same feeling of acceptance. Each one, working and thriving towards what we want to achieve and what we really do want to achieve is nothing but acceptance and the feeling of being wanted and loved.I think every person I have met has left an impact on me in one way or another.
I have become really good friends with M here. He was born here, grew up in this country and now hopes to one day be buried in the same ground as his mother was, back home in Florida. We are neighbours and we spend a lot of our evenings just chilling and talking about life and a variety of things like politics, culture, economy, relationships, emotions. animals etc. So the explanation of why you have to read about M goes like this.
M is white, strong, American southerner and is very proud of being this man who will not get affected by things easily. He believes he saw his mother suffer in pain, when she was unwell and was diagnosed with a disease just before it took her away that he is not that hurt now when things happen. We were discussing how sometimes these incidents make you stronger and often, they turn you into a numb person. Well lets be honest, after I lost all the love I had for a man I thought I can die for, I don’t really get affected by little things like friends being annoyed about something or people being upset with me. It is not that I am indifferent but I just don’t feel that bad about a situation or people breaking up or going through pain.I do not mean to say I am unaffected. I believe human beings can never shield themselves from emotions no matter how much they believe they can.
So here we had M, who over time told me that his past relationships have made him reach a point in life where he believes this is life and these things are part and parcel of life. All we need to do is be happy as long as we can and live how we want to live our lives. He mentioned it will take a lot for him to ever break in life now.
I do not agree human beings have the power of letting emotions not affect them. I believe if something happens to you or someone you are close to, it will affect you. You might not accept it, you might try shielding yourself from it all. But it will affect you. M was no extra ordinary case. 🙂
I came back from work last evening to see him sitting on the porch, smoking a cigarette and looking rather tense. When I asked what happened he mentioned that G, his roommate and a really close friend had to fly to Michigan in emergency because his wife is unwell. D, the wife, was under a lot of stress recently with all the financial issues and one thing led to another. D might have a tumor in her brain now and was in emergency because she has internal bleeding. G might never return to Washington. And it affected M. M who is supposedly macho, was almost in tears when he mentioned it. It affected him that G might never return.It affected him that D was in emergency. It affected him that G was depressed and something like this had happened to someone he cared for. It broke his heart to see his close friend be so sad and look at life in a uncertain way.
So the man who tries teaching me about life and telling me that I am more emotional than I should be was in tears last night. I was sad to see my new friend that way too. I also realised that no matter how much we try to shield ourselves from pain or agony and believe things dont affect us that easily, we will always be affected by what happens to us or loved ones. That is the essence of our being. That is what makes us who we are. The way we react and how we care or want to make the other person comfortable when they are in agony.I could see M being so restless that he was not there for his friend in his need of hour.
It also occurred to me how difficult it is to react to men, especially older men who are sad. What do you tell them? Its not like its an issue from college that is bothering them. I just do best what I do when I see someone cry. I try not to well up in tears myself and then give the biggest possible smile ever.
It worked. M smiled back.